Just come to my Inbox to get a "trigger" kind of email from one of the women I work with in the UK... Doing my best to calm down with music, my healing balcony (it's 6 am on Sunday morning), looking at my trees and flowers and hearing the birds!
And I thought I'd write to you all... that always helps me. To know I can vent if I need to, or need a virtual hug, or the comfort of knowing that someone is listening to me...! And the comfort of knowing that you understand.
So, here is what I propose this morning: Just like Gandhiji preached against the three sins of Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil, Think No Evil, I believe that if we can throw away from our mind and heart the three sins of Judgement, Expectations and Excuses... we'd all be one step closer to divinity!
Judgement is the first deadly sin. Who are we to judge anyone? We are not a judge or God. These are the only two people who should be allowed to judge! A judge in the living world and God in the non living world.
Expectations is the second deadly sin. We have expectations from everyone, and when they cannot meet our needs, we pout, get sad, angry or depressed. Why have expectations from anyone? Leave this sin outside the door when you take off your shoes and enter the temple of spirituality. There's so space for you both in here!
Excuses is the third, and least deadly sin. This one is just an irritating one... and will prevent you from character purification and character building. If someone gives you a time, like please come to this meeting at 10 am, do you find you're always rushing, late, and then rush in breathing excuses? Hello?! Have you not heard the rude saying my American husband introduced me to years ago, excuses are like ***holes, everyone has one! I have no patience for excuses any more. If anyone gives me excuses, I just smile politely till they're done vomitting the bile from their system, smile, clap or shake my palms to cleanse the air, and carry on as if no one said anything! It's the best way not to feed energy to excuses.So, my proposition to you all is this: just for one week, try not to indulge in these three deadly sins... and be aware of how you feel. How's your heart feeling? And your mind? And energy levels, do you get more done or less?
I know in my case, when 2 years ago, I fell down to point zero, and in my heart and mind, removed any expectations from my parents, from my therapist, etc., for my healing, things have been moving at quantum leaps.
And this morning, as I have flown into a rage with some work related issue, I finally am adding expectations and judgement to that litany:
Judgement, Expectations and Excuses are like ***holes: Everyone Has Them!!
What do you think and know and feel about judgements, expectations and excuses?
Love, and With One Heart,
JSpirit
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8 comments:
[QUOTE]These are the only two people who should be allowed to judge![unquote]
the key word is "allow"
Now, who does that "allow" action? think, think. :).
Secondly, most of us are judgers. I am ISTJ. You are INFJ. You are a judger too :). Come, it's not one MBTI profile. Your writings have lots of pronouncements judgment. :). So, it's a little - what do I say - odd to see you writing against passing judgment and doing it with full liberty yourself all the while. :).
Of course we are all judgemental, Durga! I said we should strive to be less judgmental as we try and do sadhana, as we try to whittle away all the chinks in our armour that just "LIFE" has given us...
We are born perfect. Not judgemental. And then the damage starts as our mothers start judging us. How dark. So much crying, etc. In schools. By teachers. By friends. Sadly, we have to put on a mask to protect ourself...
So by age 40, we are damaged. Our shoulders and face ache with the masks and the armour. We are weary... and as some of us run, do yoga, or sing... sadhana to try and lose this... we can accept. Be.
So if my writings appear judgemental, so be it. I am entitled to voice my opinion without fear. Just as you should!
But I can still try to drop judgemental as being part of my personality. But not hate myself if I am not perfect today!
In sadhana, with One Heart,
J
Being Judgmental is imperfect? How cute a theory! I am sure a result of indigestion of the Western balderdash - as Bramhananda, Vivekananda's guru-brother used to say.
Since we are judgemental - we can approach divinity - Neti, neti... as in Chhaandogya or Bhrihadaranyak Upanishad. Now, where do you get the power to understand which is NOT? From the power of discrimination, in other words from the power of judgement, rationale, logic which is all within us.
I am saying making a Judgement is good. A child is good in its innocence, it does not know a lie. But so is a stone, or a cow. Wisdom lies in knowing the difference, and choosing to be good - by being discriminatory, judgemental.
All leaders made a judgement - all great leadership profiles have a J. ENTJ, or INTJ, or INFJ. Even my profile, ISTJ which is not a great leadership profile - does produce good leaders in the form of very good managers, administrators, military leaders. In contrast P profiles are not leadership profiles.
There is a difference in judgement and judgemental... that is our confusion. Will clarify soon...
Like I should be able to judge whether a cup of tea is better for me or whisky... That is judgement through experience.
But I should not judge others. That is judgemental. That is what I say we should avoid. If someone likes dal or rajma, it is their business, who are we to judge why they prefer dal?
Not sure if you understand my drift... will try again... am a bit exhausted today with the press and the lawyers...
Thanks for keeping on questioning my writing, it really does help...
Love,
J
Haha, so you are onto it - pursuing the school affair. Good, good :).
yes, I get the drift. :).
Now, then should judges be judgmental - which you "allowed" them? :).
I like your language while you are addressing someone - so non-combative. Shows a lot of advancement.
Good morning Durga:
Thanks for noticing the change in my language... I am noticing it too, and it is making a huge difference!
I am so much more effective... much more helpful as I embark on my Change The World campaign!
Moving the Supreme Court through a PIL (Public Interest Litigation)... working on the notes for my legal team now. Feel happy to channel my anger positively. Like Erin Brokovich...?!
Hope you're well and happy! Would love yur advice on this PIL business.
Love,
J
with trepidition i tentively put my toe in the pool of the ongoing debate between Durga and Jhilmil...:)
I think acceptance is the key word here as rationalising and judging are activities which our conscious mind follows on automation... its the heart which needs to learn to not get affected by this thinking mind and overstep and accept...at times with understanding and perhaps at others with patience and compassion. Like i keep telling my 9 year old daughter...its a huge world with all kinds of people with different experiences lives mind sets etc and instead of trying to label or categorise them we just need to accept the differences and embrace the positives.
Thanks VSpirit!
And as my Lahori grandmother, wise and graceful said, if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything! But if you have anything positive to say, make sure you do...
Love,
J
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