Life Positive Expo with the MOST UnPositive People...

21 Sep 8 am. I get ready, excited and happy. Here is an event I have been eagerly looking forward to... the annual Life Positive expo. I've even paid money to attend (next year, I will not! Pay money, that is, I will just attend)...

10 am. I get to the expo, which was supposed to have started at 8 am with Sky Yoga, which I had to miss as I was teaching my own Basement Yoga... Things are still being set up. In typical Indian style, vendors are still walking in with all their paraphernalia... When will we learn that first impressions are everything??

10:15 am. I have registered, quite comfortably, by the so far "nice" people at the Check in Desk. I sit down in the Conference Room with so many other people, eager to learn what this kind gentleman from Hyderabad has to teach us about Hypnosis. Sadly, within 10 minutes I realise, that like most teachers, he only likes the sound of his own voice, and I dislike being "taught". I prefer to "learn".
So I go out to have tea or buy books... I proceed to spend 1.4 lakhs!!! in 30 minutes. I must admit that one of them is a beautiful painting. Picture alongside. The art gallery assures me it is a sure shot investment. 1.2 lakhs today, double it in 1 year... How do I care? I like it today, I had the money that I earned, so I bought it. It felt strangely empowering not take my husband's "permission" as I took out my own cheque book with a flourish... To buy beautiful art, just like buying flowers or fruit... it felt good!

12:00 pm. After an hour of chatting, meeting, having very painful reflexology done (the nice girl Madhu assures me I am about to get cervical or thyroid problems. I say, I know, it's because of a broken heart... she giggles nervously). I go back into the Panel Discussion. More like Mahabharata! There are 4 holistic "doctors" on Ayurveda, Homeopathy and Naturopathy. No one really cares about us in the audience, they just want to boast about their cases in the past... any real questions from the audience are shut down. I watch amazed... why do we put up with Panels like this??? I meekly raise my hand and tell people, if they like, I can help them analyse their diet using ayurveda and blood type mapping and as I leave the room, many people follow me. The Pied Piper effect again...

1:30 pm. One large gentleman comes to me and asks me if I can help him with his weight management, diabetes and hypertension. I love when people come to me and ask for help, so with a flourish I take out my spray, do an invocation and begin general sweeping.. Of course I can help, I assure him, as I tell him his healing has started from the moment he approached me.

150 pm. Many people have been watching the sweeping and energising... they ask for my card, and I say I do not have cards as I am unemployed and a free spirit. I will come where they call... They take my phone number and email address on torn chits of paper and after I politely turn down the offer of a ride home from an elderly gentleman, I take a deep breath and go to Lunch.

2:00 pm. I have never seen such an unhealthy lunch! After the one hour panel discussion on eating saatvik and gentle food, we arrive at the Habitat's offering of greasy, artery clogging, overspiced food. I carefully take what I know will suit me, but even so, I have an upset stomach this morning. I think I will carry my own snacks today...

3:00 pm. Back in the Conference Room. I am looking forward to Anuradha Ramesh's workshop on Past Life, but within 30 minutes, I am back in the outdoors looking for tea. I go to the Life Positive people and ask them, politely, where I can redeem the tea vouchers they have kindly given me. They look horrified, as if I have asked for tequila and say sternly, "Ma'am, it's not tea time yet, you just ate!". And I say, laughingly, we need tea all the time, we are Indian, you know! Plus who can stay awake with such boredom inside... they giggle and tell me to go an buy my own tea at the Habitat... So I did!

5:30 pm. Real Tea Time. Tea and Coffee, no herbal tea or brown sugar, to my dismay. Today I will have to carry my own tea and sugar also! The only snack is cookies and I do not eat wheat. I ask one of the Habitat people if they can give me an alternative or a piece of fruit, and they refuse. I mention this to Vijay, who is the event coordinator, and he also says he is helpless, that this is all in the Habitat's hands.

Tell me this, if I have paid Rs. 5000 to listen to a series of rather boring workshops, can they not go out of their way a little bit to get me a banana or a piece of chocolate? I guess not, so today, I will carry chanas and chocolate...

6:30 pm. Finally, the evening discourse. The best part of the day. I sit in a quiet spot so I can really focus on Swami Sukhbodhananda. After a very boring and political 30 minutes of thanking the sponsors, the chairman, the editor, etc., he finally gets to come on the stage. The next 2 hours were truly magical, thank you Swami ji, for your wonderful discourse on living in abundance, with abandon, with joy, with mirth...

8:45 pm. I ask the Life Positive people if they can help call a taxi for me. They are fed up of me after all my requests for help, and say they cannot help me anymore...

9:00 pm. I reach home, happy and tired...


6:00 am Saturday... Going to pack my cellphone charger (as the Airtel one there is broken!), some snacks, some tea, a bunch of printouts on my workshop next weekend, and a whole lot of Love and Patience. Let's see how Day 2 pans out... Watch this space!!

Love,
Jhilmil